My sister is having a “big-0” birthday soon. Before the world got locked down we started to plan the celebration. A few years back we gave her a Murder Mystery Dinner Party Box Kit. She was keen to break it out and, as she’s beautifully sentimental and not a huge party girl, have our immediate family over for a night of French Murder Mystery Mayhem. I offered to host the night and cook the dinner. My mum was going to be the dessert bearer. Entrée: French Onion Soup. Main: Seafood Bouillabaisse… “Sure!” I thought “it can’t be that hard! Plus my Dad’s a cheese-loving, fish-eating Ovo-Lacto Veggie so he’ll be able to eat that!” But then the flashbacks started.
It’s 12 years ago and I’m sitting next to my husband of 2 years in our tiny rental lounge room. The second-hand lounge chairs are a bit scratchy where the fabric has worn. It’s about 10 minutes until Bible Study time, when our friends will arrive and squeeze into this pokey room with us. We’re staring morosely at our laps, where we’ve balanced our dinner and discussing whether it’d be better to just go hungry that night.
We’d arrived home from work a bit late, and I wasn’t hugely prepared with dinner options. We foraged through the cupboards and struck gold. This was going to be our gourmet meal for the week: a packet of French Onion Soup Mix. I know what you’re all yelling at your screens right now “don’t do it!!! It’s better to starve than even contemplate this travesty!” We did it. We followed those instructions on the back of the packet with alarming accuracy. Until I decided to taste what we were making. Uh Ohh… “Let’s add some corn kernels” I said. They sank straight to the bottom and stayed there. We buttered some toast and sat down with our steaming bowls of what my dad would refer to as “bilge water”.
I don’t need to explain what happened next. Even the corn kernels were ruined. It was like eating bowls of salty water with chunks in the bottom. Thankfully we’d served it up so hot that the burning prevented us from tasting too much of the slop, which when I’m in a reminiscing mood, I now fondly refer to as “an abomination to food”. Of course, the toast was the best part of the meal.
Now back to the present, with this, my only experience of French Onion Soup literally scorched into my taste buds. It was time to do some googling. I sifted the web for recipes for French Onion Soup and the pictures I found were amazing. I settled for one that looked kinda easy and even had some helpful notes about the types of alcohol and cheese you could add.
I set to cooking this mythical delicacy and was absolutely blown away by the finished product. It was glorious, with it’s melty, cheesy garlic croutons, and the thick, hearty beef and red wine broth. I don’t even care if it’s not exactly what a French Onion Soup should be. My family will love it, and the only reason I’ll ever need to think about French Onion Soup Mix again is if I want to make a potato casserole or a dip.
The only problem is that now we’ll probably have to wait until next year before we can have any decent family gatherings. The Big-0 birthday celebration has been postponed due to Covid-19 social distancing regulations.
I guess this gives me a year to work on the Seafood Bouillabaisse!
Mary Beck 